Which pattern keeps choosing for you?
This is a free 12-question self-check for anyone who keeps ending up with the same kind of person.
When someone is hard to read, I feel more drawn to them.
I've dated people I was sure I could help change.
I say "it's fine" when it isn't, so things stay calm.
I usually find a reason to leave before things get serious.
A slow reply can ruin my whole evening.
In my relationships, I end up doing most of the work.
Early on, I have trouble saying what I want.
Being alone feels safer to me than being close to someone.
Kind, steady people feel a bit boring to me.
I feel most loved when someone needs me.
A few months in, I lose track of my own plans and friends.
When someone gets close, I start noticing everything wrong with them.
Your main pattern
Your full result shows:
- The tells: three signs you'll spot in yourself
- The old rule your pattern runs on, and a new one to replace it
- Where the pattern often starts
- How you scored across all four patterns
Want to change the pattern?
The workbook walks you through it: 36 prompts, a red flag checklist, 15 scripts and your own pattern card.
Get the full workbook, $19Questions
Before you start
What is this check?
It's a free 12-question self-check. Each answer is worth 0 to 3 points. Your top pattern is the one with the highest score, out of 9.
Who is it for?
Anyone who keeps ending up with the same kind of person, or wants words for a pattern they already sense in themselves.
What do I get if I give my email?
Your full result opens right away: the tells, the old rule your pattern runs on, the new rule to replace it, and where it often starts. A copy goes to your inbox.
Is this a diagnosis?
No. It's a self-check for reflection, not therapy or a diagnosis. If someone is hurting you, the hotline numbers are at the bottom of this page.