Self-guided practices for grief and hard feelings.
How Minds Work

Is it normal to feel worse right after a grief ritual?

By How Minds Work · Updated October 2026 · Sources listed below

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Short answerYes, it's common. A meta-analysis of written emotional expression found that writing raised immediate distress, and that distress was unrelated to the health benefits. Grief research also describes needing breaks from grieving. If heavy feelings last for weeks and stop you functioning, talk to a professional.

Key takeaways

Why would you feel worse first?

You just spent time with the thing that hurts. That tends to stir feelings up. In Smyth's meta-analysis, written emotional expression increased immediate distress. That rise was unrelated to the health outcomes. So a rough hour afterward isn't a sign you did it wrong.

What can you do in the hours after?

Stroebe and Schut describe a need for respite from grief. Take it on purpose. Eat. Drink water. Go outside. Talk with someone about something ordinary. Sleep early if you can.

Name what you feel in a few plain words. A brain imaging study found that putting feelings into words reduced amygdala activity and raised activity in a part of the prefrontal cortex. That was a lab task and not grief, but naming a feeling is a small tool you can use right now.

When should you get help?

Get support if the heaviness lasts for weeks and keeps you from sleeping, eating, working or caring for yourself. Prolonged grief disorder is a recognized diagnosis, and researchers have tested criteria for it in samples of bereaved people. Only a professional can assess that.

If you have thoughts of harming yourself, contact a crisis line right away. In the United States, call or text 988.

What the research says

Smyth (1998): written emotional expression raised immediate distress, and that distress was unrelated to the health outcomes.

Stroebe and Schut (1999): the dual process model includes a need for respite from grieving.

Lieberman et al. (2007): affect labeling diminished amygdala response and increased right ventrolateral prefrontal activity in a brain imaging study.

Prigerson et al. (2009): tested proposed criteria for prolonged grief disorder in a sample of 291 bereaved people.

Try this today

  1. Plan something ordinary for the hour after: a walk, a meal, a shower.
  2. Say how you feel in three words, out loud.
  3. If you're still heavy tomorrow, do something small and social.
  4. Write down who you'd call if the heaviness doesn't lift.

Want a guided version? The Grief Release Ritual walks you through gathering small objects, speaking the memory out loud, releasing it, and keeping one as a witness.

See the Grief Release Ritual

Common questions

Is it normal to feel sad after a grief ritual?

Yes. A meta-analysis found writing about emotions raised immediate distress, and that rise was unrelated to later benefits.

How long should the heaviness last?

It varies. If it lasts for weeks and affects daily life, talk to a doctor or counselor.

What should I do right after a ritual?

Take a break on purpose. Eat, drink water, go outside, and do something ordinary.

When is it more than normal grief?

If you can't function for a long stretch, or you have thoughts of self-harm, seek help. In the US, call or text 988.

Keep reading

References

  1. Smyth, J.M. (1998). Written emotional expression: Effect sizes, outcome types, and moderating variables. Journal of Consulting and Clinical Psychology, 66(1), 174-184. doi.org/10.1037/0022-006X.66.1.174
  2. Stroebe, M., & Schut, H. (1999). The dual process model of coping with bereavement: Rationale and description. Death Studies, 23(3), 197-224. doi.org/10.1080/074811899201046
  3. Lieberman, M.D., Eisenberger, N.I., Crockett, M.J., Tom, S.M., Pfeifer, J.H., & Way, B.M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli. Psychological Science, 18(5), 421-428. doi.org/10.1111/j.1467-9280.2007.01916.x
  4. Prigerson, H.G., Horowitz, M.J., Jacobs, S.C., Parkes, C.M., Aslan, M., Goodkin, K., et al. (2009). Prolonged Grief Disorder: Psychometric Validation of Criteria Proposed for DSM-V and ICD-11. PLoS Medicine, 6(8), e1000121. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000121

This guide is for general information. It is not therapy, medical advice or a treatment. If grief is affecting your sleep, eating, work or safety, talk to a doctor or licensed counselor. In the United States you can call or text 988 at any time.