Self-guided practices for grief and hard feelings.
How Minds Work

Do grief rituals actually work, even if you don't believe in them?

By How Minds Work · Updated October 2026 · Sources listed below

A single lit candle under a crescent moon
Short answerSome research says yes. In three experiments, people who did a ritual after a loss reported less grief, and that held for people who said they didn't believe in rituals. The authors link the effect to a stronger sense of control. The losses studied were not all deaths.

Key takeaways

What did the research find?

Norton and Gino ran three experiments. People reflected on rituals they had done, or completed new ones, after losses such as loved ones, lovers and lotteries. They reported less grief afterward.

The authors found that a stronger feeling of control helped explain the effect. The benefit also showed up for people who said they didn't believe in the power of rituals.

Why would an action help if you don't believe in it?

A ritual gives a messy feeling a shape. It has a start, a few steps and an end. That structure can give you a sense of doing something about a loss that you can't change.

A broader review of ritual research by Hobson and colleagues describes rituals as helping with emotion regulation and performance goal states, and with social connection.

What are the limits?

The grief in those experiments was not all bereavement. Some losses were recalled, and some were lab situations. So the studies show that structured rituals can ease grief feelings in research settings. They don't show that a specific ritual will work for your loss.

Rituals also don't replace support. If grief keeps you from sleeping, working or eating for a long stretch, talk to a doctor or a grief counselor.

What the research says

Norton and Gino (2014), three experiments: reflecting on past rituals or completing new rituals after losses led to lower grief, and increased feelings of control mediated the effect. Benefits also appeared for people who did not believe in rituals.

Hobson et al. (2018), integrative review: rituals are linked to emotion regulation, performance goal states and social connection.

Try this today

  1. Pick one object that stands for the loss.
  2. Say one sentence out loud about what you are marking.
  3. Do one deliberate physical act, like setting the object down in a place you choose.
  4. Notice that you chose every step. That choice is part of the point.

Want a guided version? The Grief Release Ritual walks you through gathering small objects, speaking the memory out loud, releasing it, and keeping one as a witness.

See the Grief Release Ritual

Common questions

Do grief rituals work if you are an atheist?

The main experiments found a benefit for people who did not believe in rituals. The authors tied it to feeling more in control, not to belief.

Is there scientific evidence for grief rituals?

Yes, with limits. Three experiments found rituals lowered reported grief after loss. Those studies were not all about bereavement.

What makes a ritual work?

The research points to a stronger sense of control. A clear start, a few deliberate steps and an end give you that.

Can a ritual replace therapy?

No. A ritual is a self-help practice, not a treatment. If grief is not easing and it is hurting your daily life, see a professional.

Keep reading

References

  1. Norton, M.I., & Gino, F. (2014). Rituals alleviate grieving for loved ones, lovers, and lotteries. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, 143(1), 266-272. doi.org/10.1037/a0031772
  2. Hobson, N.M., Schroeder, J., Risen, J.L., Xygalatas, D., & Inzlicht, M. (2018). The Psychology of Rituals: An Integrative Review and Process-Based Framework. Personality and Social Psychology Review, 22(3), 260-284. doi.org/10.1177/1088868317734944
  3. Prigerson, H.G., Horowitz, M.J., Jacobs, S.C., Parkes, C.M., Aslan, M., Goodkin, K., et al. (2009). Prolonged Grief Disorder: Psychometric Validation of Criteria Proposed for DSM-V and ICD-11. PLoS Medicine, 6(8), e1000121. doi.org/10.1371/journal.pmed.1000121

This guide is for general information. It is not therapy, medical advice or a treatment. If grief is affecting your sleep, eating, work or safety, talk to a doctor or licensed counselor. In the United States you can call or text 988 at any time.