Self-guided practices for grief and hard feelings.
How Minds Work

Can you do a Native American-inspired grief ritual if you are not Native?

By How Minds Work · Updated October 2026 · Sources listed below

A full moon among purple clouds and stars
Short answerWe can't speak for any tribe. The Lakota rite of Keeping of the Soul is one of the Seven Sacred Rites, not a template to copy. You can do a simple reflection practice of your own, with stones or paper, and call it what it is: your own. Don't claim tribal approval for it.

Key takeaways

Is the viral grief ritual a closed practice?

People ask this a lot in the comments, and it is a fair question. Some Native ceremonies are sacred and led by trained spiritual leaders. Others are shared more widely. Nobody outside a community should decide that for it.

A 2026 integrative review of 14 articles covering 18 Indigenous groups found that some grieving and funeral practices are shared across groups and some are specific to one group. It also found no specific Indigenous grief support frameworks in the literature it reviewed.

What is the actual Lakota rite?

Wanáǧi Yuhápi, Keeping of the Soul, is one of the Seven Sacred Rites in Lakota tradition, according to the Aktá Lakota Museum. A lock of hair is purified over sweetgrass, wrapped in a bundle, and kept by a Keeper of the Soul for about a year before a release ceremony.

That is a community rite with its own meaning, roles and teachings. Copying the outline would not carry those things with it.

What can you do instead?

Keep the human parts that don't belong to any one tradition. Pick a few small objects. Say the memory out loud. Do one deliberate physical act to mark an ending. Keep one object as a reminder that the love was real.

Use your own words. Skip names and phrases borrowed from a tradition you don't belong to. If you want to learn about Lakota rites, start with Lakota sources like the Aktá Lakota Museum.

How should a creator describe this practice honestly?

Say it is a modern reflection practice, not a treatment and not an authenticated ceremony. Don't say a tribe approved it. Don't invent a date or origin story for it.

What the research says

Felix et al. (2026): integrative review of 14 articles on 18 Indigenous groups. Some grieving and funeral practices were shared, and some were group-specific. The authors found no specific Indigenous grief support frameworks.

Brave Heart et al. (2020): a pilot trial of 52 people compared a culturally informed intervention plus interpersonal therapy against interpersonal therapy alone. Depression dropped in both groups with no significant difference, and the culturally informed group had significantly greater group engagement.

Try this today

  1. Write down what you want to mark. A person, a relationship, a year.
  2. Choose objects from your own life that mean something to you.
  3. Name the practice in your own words. Don't borrow a tradition's name for it.

Want a guided version? The Grief Release Ritual walks you through gathering small objects, speaking the memory out loud, releasing it, and keeping one as a witness.

See the Grief Release Ritual

Common questions

Is it disrespectful to do a Native American grief ritual if you are not Native?

It depends on what you copy. Sacred rites are led by their communities. A simple reflection practice with your own objects and your own words doesn't borrow a rite.

Is Keeping of the Soul a closed practice?

It is one of the Seven Sacred Rites in Lakota tradition. We can't speak for the Lakota people. The Aktá Lakota Museum is a good place to learn how they describe it.

Do Native communities have their own grief frameworks?

A 2026 review of 14 articles on 18 Indigenous groups found some practices shared and some specific to one group, and found no specific Indigenous grief support frameworks in what it reviewed.

What should I call my own ritual?

Call it a personal reflection practice. Avoid claiming tribal approval or ancient origins.

Keep reading

References

  1. Aktá Lakota Museum & Cultural Center (St. Joseph's Indian School). Keeping of the Soul (Wanáǧi Yuhápi), one of the Seven Sacred Rites. aktalakota.stjo.org/seven-sacred-rites/wanagi-yuhapi-keeping-of-the-soul/
  2. Felix, R., du Plessis, E., & Jacobs, I. (2026). Identifying Indigenous People's Grieving and Funeral Practices as Components for Establishing a Grief Support Framework: An Integrative Literature Review. Journal of Psychiatric and Mental Health Nursing, 33(1), 155-173. doi.org/10.1111/jpm.70075
  3. Brave Heart, M.Y.H., Chase, J., Myers, O., Elkins, J., Skipper, B., Schmitt, C., et al. (2020). Iwankapiya American Indian pilot clinical trial: Historical trauma and group interpersonal psychotherapy. Psychotherapy, 57(2), 184-196. doi.org/10.1037/pst0000267

This guide is for general information. It is not therapy, medical advice or a treatment. If grief is affecting your sleep, eating, work or safety, talk to a doctor or licensed counselor. In the United States you can call or text 988 at any time.